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Residency at The Garage

Interview

Vyvyan RoadBeckie Upton interviewd by Rachel Handley
00:00 / 34:15

Poem: Brief for an Abstract

As I follow a line from one side of the page to the other
And choose a fluid brush,
Marks making the paint
Illuminate the rhythm, that has formed across,
What might hint of a horizon,
In blue green.
His words come to mind "Oh don't do abstract"
I pick up my old spatula and aggressively scrape it, slap it, twist and poke the broken edge into the thick part of the paint,
Forging new scars to reveal
Layers of colour underneath
I'm reminded of every time an unasked for opinion has gnawed at me
I pick up some spoons, knifes, forks from the row of kitchen utensils,
Tools of the trade
"Some people's careers just stagnate"
There is rage bubbling underneath,
I search for a richer colour
I mix red with deep purple, the same colour I dyed my long hair during the lockdowns
I drip and spray the paint to one side
"I disagree"
I remember saying.
And plainly, "No"
And that seemed to shock
Unexpected,
Have a weight heavier than it's meagre two letters might assume
Sometimes small things have big impacts.
We'll have to agree to disagree then,
Was the only conclusion to be reached
I’m sure the red hair helped at the time, I'm usually so agreeable.
I stretch my arms up and over
I move my whole body to reach, and a lighter colour creates some breathing space.
"You're too ambitious"
Another voice, wearing the same costume, says.
I jump to smash paint on the furthest, highest corner.
I stand back.
More is needed.
I rip up tissue paper and add it to the bottom,
I want it to feel weighed down there, grounded.
The gravity of it to root in reality somehow.
You can have it all.
(But only if you do it all. Be it all. Do it badly. Fail everyday.)
I'm layering more and more material there now.
I want to add fabric, torn and used up, wrinkled and aged.
Soft yet strong.
Broken.
Repaired and patched up, again and again.
Acrylic paint palette in preparation for performance
"You know it's all lip service? The structures that exist aren't ready to be changed."
I cut off my hair.
Two years of growth and change and no change removed from myself.
I wish it were shorter now.
My final move is to roll my whole body across the work.
No one could have made this but me, this way, these marks.
"Oh don't do abstract."

Poem written in response to a conversation during Artist Studio visit and other experiences of working in the arts, 2021

Q & A with Beckie Upton

So you’ve just finished a residency, here at The Garage, why was it useful to create the work in a new space?

During my week-long residency I was able to work in a much bigger space than usual and make use of the lighting, beams and big white walls. It gave me the time, space, and silence(!), I needed, which is not always possible at my home studio which, inevitably, has become packed with a muddle of old and new work and ideas, as well as the risk of interruptions from the two people who call me Mummy! So, it was great to have a large clean empty space to breath, some distance from my past work and the opportunity to create something from scratch.


Did you have a plan for what you were going to make in the time you had?

My original plan was to film myself creating a large abstract work, based on a piece of writing I made. The piece is called “Brief for an Abstract” and was written in protest after I received the not so helpful (and unsolicited) advice “Oh, don’t do abstracts”. It reminded me of all the other times people give unhelpful advice and comments, in that moment of frustration, I wrote a brief for myself to do the exact opposite.


Is this new work for you?

Over the past couple of years I’ve loved making abstract, expressive, colourful pieces of work. It can be really easy to begin to believe you should give that up because something tells you that your own enjoyment in the making, has little value in the ‘art world’. So I decided I must make it, and so I created a film piece documenting the process (which will later be edited and the writing read as a voice over). This work will be a culmination of lots of ideas developed over this time, through networking, mentoring, self reflection, parenting as research, pandemic times, restrictions of that and the new styles of work I’ve been developing, along with my more private writing practice. It felt like a great way to bring all of those thoughts and ideas together into one work.


Could you say a bit about the tools you used?

An added layer to the piece, around finding ways to do what you love, even when there are barriers in place, were the limitations I set around it. I only had a selection of domestic items, children’s toys and craft objects to use as my tools; Calpol dispenser, head lice comb, wooden spoon, spatula, dolly. As well as only 5 pots of premixed colour to play with. The marks I made were intuitive, bold, wrong, frustrating, with the tools and with my hands, all while wearing a pair of pink rubber gloves. I hope there is a real sense of humour, the ridiculous, and perseverance, in this work.


Were you happy with what you made?

The resulting painting has been a real surprise as I was making the work predominantly for video, so the piece itself would have otherwise been inconsequential. However, what I created was unexpected, an imagined landscape with a figure emerging. Titled “Mother of Mountains”. The other surprise was an experiment, hanging a painted sheet to dry on a washing line, and the layering of cut up canvas shapes, as well as the beauty found in the discarded baby wipes I used during my performance - all future fodder for new work!

Who else did you work with?

During the residency I invited fellow Artist, Maria Jose Carvallo, to spend the day in the space together. We made work, reflected on motherhood, pandemic times and artmaking. We talked about books and films we had discovered including “The Lost Daughter”, “Art of The Anthropocene” and more. We both went away with new ideas following our conversations and analysis of each other’s work. Artist, Rachel Handley, came to view the finished work, and we recorded an interview discussion about the project. It really has made a difference to have been generously provided this space for the week and I can’t thank Helen at The Garage, enough for giving me this opportunity.

 
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